The Weapon Whisperer
by Ree-Dur-Old
Summary: Jaune talks to weapons... they talk back... But only he could hear them... He's not crazy!
1. Crocea Mors

"It's still my dream." Jaune said, eyeing the sword in his palm.

"Your right. It's too late to be second guessing myself."

"Heh, yeah. Me too, Crocea. Me too."

Jaune said to his sword as he boarded the Bullhead to Beacon.

{Prologue End.}


	2. Crescent Rose

_"'Just weapons'? They're an extension of ourselves!"_

 _-Ruby Rose._

{Line Break.}

"Well, the name's Jaune Arc! The Weapon Whisperer!" Jaune said introducing himself to the girl he met a minute ago.

Ruby Rose looked dumbfounded for a moment. Then her eyes shined with awe and she whispered. "You talk to weapons?"

"Yup! I'm not crazy at all!"

"Prove it!"

"Fine... Uh, how?"

"Oh. Um, Got it!" Ruby pulled out her scythe and displayed it proudly. "Tell me the name of my baby."

"Easy." He declared, and hunched over, to put his face next to the weapon. "I will need silence though. So, be quiet please."

Jaune stared intensely.

"Hey there baby, name's Jaune Arc! Short, sweet, rolls out the barrel - packs hell of a punch. What's your name." He flirted, with the weapon.

"Quiet one, aren't you. That's not a bad thing, your partner doesn't know when to shut her mouth. She just says whatever she wants without a care for other's feelings."

"No! I wasn't insulting her. That was just an observation, I'm just saying you two work well together."

"Yeah, I've noticed. You even share a colour scheme. With that amount of care, I'm actually worried. What if your partner can't use you? Will she be defenceless?"

"I didn't say she saw weak, or that you'll let her down. Just that you shouldn't specialize, before you generalize." Jaune stares into his refecltion on the crescent blade.

"Understood, I'll try my best." He said, then took a peak at the young rose.

"Maybe later, Crescent Rose, maybe later." Jaune backs away and smiles smugly at the shocked reaper.

Ruby open and closes her mouth, trying to say something.

She takes a deep breath, faces Jaune, gets on one knee and demands. "Marry me."

{Ch.1 End.}


	3. Ember Celica

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"Hey! Ruby! I saved you a spot!" A feminine voice called out, before being completely ignored.

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"Ruby, I am not going to marry you." Jaune said.

"...YANG!" Ruby cried out.

Then, as if a bomb went off, people were sent flying across the room, a flaming ball of yellow rage appeared next to Ruby.

"Ruby, what's wrong!?" Yang screamed.

Ruby started crying.

Yang wrapped her arms around her sister and stroked her hair.

"Tell big sis Yang what happened, then I'll deal with the problem, permanently." Yang said as one of her bracelets expanded into a gauntlet, her eyes burning red with rage.

"J-J-J-." Ruby stuttered between her sobs.

"What is it?" Yang asked softly.

"JAUNE WON'T MARRY ME!" Ruby shouted, then went back to crying.

"That bastard! Who does he think he is! Not letting you marry... him..." Yang trailed off, her hair and eyes losing their burning glow. "What?" Yang asked, her face completely blank.

"Jaune!" Ruby shouted, pointing at the blond weapon whisperer. "Can talk to weapons! And he won't agree to marry me!" Ruby's tears where forgotten, as she childishly stomped her foot. "Fix it Yang!" She whined.

"What?" Yang asked again.

Jaune, clearly understanding where her confusion came from, opted to contribute to the conversation. "I know, sounds unbelievable, but! It's true." Then, with flair and pride, he declared: "I am Jaune Arc, The Weapon Whisperer!"

"What?" Yang repeated.

With more dramatic flair Jaune continues. "Fear not! Many people have doubted my claims before! But as of today, I will be able to prove myself, at my old school it was impossible! Here though, I have the power to open your eyes!" Jaune said, moving on from Yang, to face the crowd. "For I have been blessed with the power to talk to weapons, and thanks to my new friend Ruby Rose." Jaune introduced her to the crowd.

"And possible Wife." Ruby added.

"Not possible Wife, only friend." Jaune clarifies.

"We're working through stuff at the moment." Ruby admits, like a girlfriend embarrassed of her relationship problems.

"Thanks to my friend, I have devised a way to demonstrate my gift." Jaune exclaimed, ignoring further comments from Ruby. "I will now uncover the name of these weapons!" Jaune said as he pointed to the bracelets slash gauntlets on Yang's wrists.

"Hello beautiful." Jaune greeted the unfurled gauntlet, as he held up Yang's arm.

"..." It responded(?).

"Ah, well, pretty good."

"..." It responded, again, or maybe It said something different, only Jaune could tell.

"In a tomboyish way, but then again, like the beauty of sunlight sparkling on the water." Jaune said after taking an uninterested glance at Yang.

"..." I'm as clueless as you are, I have no idea what was said, makes writing this story kinda awkward.

Jaune took another glace at Yang, he looked at the chest area, he noticed how her jacket, shirt and breasts all come together to resemble a big heart, then he remembered her gaze that promised murder.

"Nice to meet you, Ember." Jaune said, ignoring the whispers and muttering caused by his confusing show, no one knew if that was the name, well two people did, possibly three if we count Jaune, but Ruby didn't want to spoil the fun(and boy is she having fun.), and Yang was still broken(Someone should probably do something about that).

Jaune picked up the other arm, the one with the still furled bracelet, he immediately stared at it, as if he was listening to it, damn, maybe he was.

"..." Better late than never.

"'The coolest, sexiest, most bad-ass girl?'" Jaune parroted, probably, maybe. "Huh, thanks but I'm not interested in her." Jaune said, as he held the bracelet closer to his face.

"..." Don't worry, I read ahead, I think it was safe for Jaune to hear.

"'Most understanding person ever and great friend...and sexy and hot and great at parties'" Jaune possibly parroted, again, maybe. "With all this praise, I'm beginning to think you might have something for her yourself."

"..." It might have said something, sorry, there was a bout of silence, so I'm assuming it 'spoke' to Jaune, I'm basically like the rest of his audience.

"Well, you look heavenly, Celica." He whispered in a fond tone, again ignoring the reaction from his audience.

Before initiation even started, before the headmaster gave his speech, Jaune Arc already made a name for himself.

There were some that just chalked it up to a neat Semblance, some that thought he was crazy, a few even thought he was screwing with everyone for shits and giggles.

A select few even thought that he had a weapon fetish, they didn't give their opinion on his credibility, they just stated he had a weapon fetish.

And one person jumped on him shouting: "Let's make a baby together! You can even choose the name!"

{Ch.2 End.}

 **I gotta say, I'm having fun working around the silence to give away the name.**

 **In the first chapter I just used the words crescent and rose to describe something, but here I used definitions.**

 **Just look up 'Ember' and 'Celica' in urban dictionary**.

 **And Thanks to** Tristram Shandy **for giving me the idea to separate Beacon by those camps.**


End file.
